You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
