And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish i was in the wii world.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
