Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake

Fav 5 2685 1034
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(785): View more from Kansas

apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man

Fav 5 1892 784
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.

Fav 18 1639 1123
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(949): View more from California

how did we start talking about space blow jobs?

Fav 14 1954 803
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(253): View more from Washington

Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.

Fav 13 903 1965
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(757): View more from Virginia

Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning

Fav 14 2104 765
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(740): View more from Ohio

I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?

Fav 3 1124 502
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(352): View more from Florida

Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.

Fav 0 39 6
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