I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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