He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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