you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
