just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
