I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
