I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
