so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize