That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
