can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
