If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
