I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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