Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize