At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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