she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
