just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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