So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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