Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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