Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
