Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Sober January is a disaster.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So squirting runs in the family.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
