i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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