i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
