chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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