The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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