you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
