i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't deserve a penis
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
