sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
