I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
