my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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