Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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