I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
