she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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