I'm gonna have a badass scar
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
