Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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