I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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