we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
