He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
