Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
