She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
