Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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