Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
