So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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