shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
