i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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