I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
