The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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