When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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