I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize