We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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