I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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