got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
