Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
should my penis look like a turkey
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
