So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
