Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
